Hello friends,
I'm back here in the US of A and back to the tiny concrete booth I live in from 9 to 5 every weekday.
There's so much to say and no words to say it with. But I'll attempt...
I've grown up so much over this summer and can say with full confidence that God is making me into the woman He wants me to be. He opened doors every single day for me to glorify Him and talk about Him with my peers and the people of the Czech Republic.
This is the second time in my life thus far that I've gone through days where I had nothing at all to cling to but Christ and I have to say it's incredibly empowering. I woke up every morning those first few weeks and brushed my teeth looking out over the Prague skyline and prayed that God would use me.
Praise God, He did.
I'm not saying I'm perfect or that I've become perfect by going but that I have changed. I can hardly recognize myself from the person I was before.
My mind is still blown that God used me to encourage a group of youth and their pastor who had narrowly escaped arrest and possibly death in Birma for their faith. In the Czech Republic.
I would like for all of you who do claim Christ to pray for them and their pastor Rocky and pray that God sends them Bibles in their own language.
I can't stop thinking about what God has done for me and others on this trip and yet I'm so afraid I'll forget. I'm afraid that I'll fall back into myself and let myself focus on angsting over guys and drama or preoccupy myself with trying to plan out my future when I should really just rest in God's love and peace, knowing that I don't have to steer.
Pray for me.
Praise God for all the amazing things He's done!
To be continued...
~Elyz~
Monday, July 25, 2011
Saturday, May 14, 2011
The Sound of Growing Up
So if I were to hit the sack right now I'd get a good 7 hours of sleep, but of course that's far too easy.
Actually I can't sleep. It's T-3 days and counting until the big trip and while I'm not really having second thoughts, it's unnerving. Everything in my life has been falling into place rather quickly as of late, which I know is a God thing and I should be thankful. But if you really know me, you'll understand that it makes me feel as if I'm free falling without a parachute.
I decided today that I'll be moving out of the house this Fall and into my first apartment. Don't get me wrong, it's a huge load off my back; however, that feeling is beginning to hit me again...that feeling of being stretched. The feeling you got on the first day of Kindergarten. The feeling you got when you sat behind the wheel for the first time. The feeling of your practice graduation service. The feeling of growing up.
If you're not careful you'd say that it feels bad. I've noticed lately that everything I feel isn't so black and white. Not to be misconstrued: I know that things are distinctly right and wrong but emotions are harder to tack. The feeling of spicy food is a sensation that some people like while others, like me, would rather not feel. The feeling of the wind in your hair is nice some days and others you just don't want to experience that at the moment. That's how growing up is. Longing for the past while hopeful for the future. It's not inherantly unpleasant, however if you let it lay there in your mind it can grow to be.
I'm sure it would surprise none of you if I said that I've been thinking about my future husband a lot lately. This growing up thing has really changed my perception of him through the years and it only goes to prove what I knew all along:
God knows exactly what you/I need in a spouse. Even when we're not ready to know what we need.
This simple truth is so incredibly freeing to me. If God knows what I'll need in a co-sharer of the gospel, then he'll let me know when I can fully appreciate it and agree. Needless to say, this explains a lot.
This explains why I couldn't get my way and marry the first cute guy I liked in Kindergarten who never noticed nerdy little me. (Will post pic later) This would explain why, as much as He knows I tried, I could never make it work with other guys along the way. It's not because I didn't really love them or really try, but because I didn't know what I would/will become let alone what that means I would need.
Not to say that I do know now, it's just comforting. :)
So I've got three days left and just to warn you: I have no idea who I'll be when I come back, but pray that God will make me into a more godly, more mature woman of God.
Here's present Elyz saying,
"Here's lookin at you, kid."
(See: elyzabroad.blogspot.com for entries while in Prague!)
Actually I can't sleep. It's T-3 days and counting until the big trip and while I'm not really having second thoughts, it's unnerving. Everything in my life has been falling into place rather quickly as of late, which I know is a God thing and I should be thankful. But if you really know me, you'll understand that it makes me feel as if I'm free falling without a parachute.
I decided today that I'll be moving out of the house this Fall and into my first apartment. Don't get me wrong, it's a huge load off my back; however, that feeling is beginning to hit me again...that feeling of being stretched. The feeling you got on the first day of Kindergarten. The feeling you got when you sat behind the wheel for the first time. The feeling of your practice graduation service. The feeling of growing up.
If you're not careful you'd say that it feels bad. I've noticed lately that everything I feel isn't so black and white. Not to be misconstrued: I know that things are distinctly right and wrong but emotions are harder to tack. The feeling of spicy food is a sensation that some people like while others, like me, would rather not feel. The feeling of the wind in your hair is nice some days and others you just don't want to experience that at the moment. That's how growing up is. Longing for the past while hopeful for the future. It's not inherantly unpleasant, however if you let it lay there in your mind it can grow to be.
I'm sure it would surprise none of you if I said that I've been thinking about my future husband a lot lately. This growing up thing has really changed my perception of him through the years and it only goes to prove what I knew all along:
God knows exactly what you/I need in a spouse. Even when we're not ready to know what we need.
This simple truth is so incredibly freeing to me. If God knows what I'll need in a co-sharer of the gospel, then he'll let me know when I can fully appreciate it and agree. Needless to say, this explains a lot.
This explains why I couldn't get my way and marry the first cute guy I liked in Kindergarten who never noticed nerdy little me. (Will post pic later) This would explain why, as much as He knows I tried, I could never make it work with other guys along the way. It's not because I didn't really love them or really try, but because I didn't know what I would/will become let alone what that means I would need.
Not to say that I do know now, it's just comforting. :)
So I've got three days left and just to warn you: I have no idea who I'll be when I come back, but pray that God will make me into a more godly, more mature woman of God.
Here's present Elyz saying,
"Here's lookin at you, kid."
(See: elyzabroad.blogspot.com for entries while in Prague!)
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Skizophrenia
WARNING: I have no idea where this post is going...
My life is organized in file folders. I have each part set off in another section of my brain with its associated friends, activities, and emotions. And every so often I have to choose which part I spend more time in, invest in you might say. I'm sure you are not unlike me. You make choices to attend one event and miss another based on importance. Not that any one of these file folders isn't important in its own right, but some preceed others.
Quite clearly family trumps in most cases. However some days I wonder if I chose the right file folder. (I spent today with my family and church family and have no regrets about that, I'm speaking of previous days.) You make a quick choice which you hope won't come back to bite you when you find out what you could have been doing.
A friend of mine classified this as the dissease of not wanting to miss out on anything and I can't say I disagree. People always say that college should be the best four years of your life. What incredible pressure! I mean on top of attempting to make good grades you have to ALSO make sure you're having the most fun you'll ever have, because you've already been told "This is as good as it gets." How depressing is that?
So you put all your assorted friends and activities in their appropriate file folders and attempt to decipher which will be the most fun with the least consequences in each given circumstance. Maybe that's why binge drinking is so rampant on college campuses? Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves? Are we having fun yet?
I titled this post Skizophrenia because sometimes it seems that way. That one minute life is going great and then you start to question if you're doing it right. And the answer is always no because there's always more you could study, more you could experience, there's no way that we could do it all in four years.
On top of all this, most people are said to meet their future spouse in college. As if I didn't have enough to worry about getting done. The stress is tremendous.
Example: I'm looking at possibly moving into an apartment (or dorm) and out of my parents house this fall. The real question is: "What will I miss?" If I live with my parents it's time that could be spent on studying, theatre, and friends. If I live near campus it's my brothers and sister growing up and the council my parents provide. (Not to mention free rent and groceries as well as other misc. benefits.) So how do you go about comparing the two? They're apples and oranges.
I'm leaving for Prague soon. I will be missing a lot by going. But would I miss more if I didn't? There's no way to know what I will be missing until it happens and the moment is gone. This is why I'm so terrible about deciding things.
...well that's not what I had planned to say at all...
vexed,
Elyz
My life is organized in file folders. I have each part set off in another section of my brain with its associated friends, activities, and emotions. And every so often I have to choose which part I spend more time in, invest in you might say. I'm sure you are not unlike me. You make choices to attend one event and miss another based on importance. Not that any one of these file folders isn't important in its own right, but some preceed others.
Quite clearly family trumps in most cases. However some days I wonder if I chose the right file folder. (I spent today with my family and church family and have no regrets about that, I'm speaking of previous days.) You make a quick choice which you hope won't come back to bite you when you find out what you could have been doing.
A friend of mine classified this as the dissease of not wanting to miss out on anything and I can't say I disagree. People always say that college should be the best four years of your life. What incredible pressure! I mean on top of attempting to make good grades you have to ALSO make sure you're having the most fun you'll ever have, because you've already been told "This is as good as it gets." How depressing is that?
So you put all your assorted friends and activities in their appropriate file folders and attempt to decipher which will be the most fun with the least consequences in each given circumstance. Maybe that's why binge drinking is so rampant on college campuses? Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves? Are we having fun yet?
I titled this post Skizophrenia because sometimes it seems that way. That one minute life is going great and then you start to question if you're doing it right. And the answer is always no because there's always more you could study, more you could experience, there's no way that we could do it all in four years.
On top of all this, most people are said to meet their future spouse in college. As if I didn't have enough to worry about getting done. The stress is tremendous.
Example: I'm looking at possibly moving into an apartment (or dorm) and out of my parents house this fall. The real question is: "What will I miss?" If I live with my parents it's time that could be spent on studying, theatre, and friends. If I live near campus it's my brothers and sister growing up and the council my parents provide. (Not to mention free rent and groceries as well as other misc. benefits.) So how do you go about comparing the two? They're apples and oranges.
I'm leaving for Prague soon. I will be missing a lot by going. But would I miss more if I didn't? There's no way to know what I will be missing until it happens and the moment is gone. This is why I'm so terrible about deciding things.
...well that's not what I had planned to say at all...
vexed,
Elyz
Monday, April 11, 2011
Elyz the Gypsy
Elyz is going abroad!
I'll be blogging on a different blog while abroad for organizational sake. Here's the link!
http://elyzabroad.blogspot.com/
Once I'm back I'll be back to this address. Check the counter 37 days!
Na shledanou!
~Elyz~
I'll be blogging on a different blog while abroad for organizational sake. Here's the link!
http://elyzabroad.blogspot.com/
Once I'm back I'll be back to this address. Check the counter 37 days!
Na shledanou!
~Elyz~
Sunday, April 3, 2011
When You're the Best of Friends...
For those of you who have been keeping up with my Blog for a little while I'm sure you've noticed that I am indeed one of "those" people. I hereby confess that I am a "over-dramatic-late-night-studying-showtunes-singing-attention-loving-crazy-theatre-person." This last show I've been privy to serve in was titled "Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog" and I was blessed to be able to work costumes for this student-run show. This show was absolutely wonderful and filled with amazingly talented people on and off the stage who were not strangers to the idea of servant leadership.
For those of you who have not darkened the doorway of a theatre, let me attempt to convey what happens. A group of partial to complete strangers get cast or agree to help with a show. They attempt to do the script justice and in the process are forced to jump through some awkward hoops and just plain shennanigans in order to achieve the afore mentioned goal. In this process they become closer than they were at their point of casting/recruiting. Then the show opens. They make theatrical magic and the crowd loves it, and all of a sudden they're your family. This is the part I can't explain, because although you may not know any more about them than you did before opening night, you'd gladly spend the next month performing (and basicly living) with them (or most of them.) Then you have several days of chaotic bliss as the show runs its course. And then the curtain falls and you push the anxiety to the back of your head so that you can take care of cleaning up the mess of art you've all made on stage. But once you're all back in your respective places it doesn't feel right. There's nothing more to clean, place, say and you know that you will never get back that show ever again.
But there is some comfort because the majority of your cast and crew feel the same way. We theatre types call this "actor's remorse." And then of course the pictures go up on facebook and everyone gets excited to see each other again at the cast party. But nothing will ever be the same because you've been there and you will always have that cast/crew as a sort of extended family.
This is not someting I want to live without. Nor something I ever plan on living without. I'd like to thank the Dr. Horrible cast and crew for being so great and showing me (even though you didn't know it at the time) that my place is here with you crazy people. I may not know where I'm going but I know what I'll be doing. I love you all and I am impatient for the next time that we can work art together again.
I'll miss you so incredibly much this summer!
here's lookin at you kids,
~Elyz~
For those of you who have not darkened the doorway of a theatre, let me attempt to convey what happens. A group of partial to complete strangers get cast or agree to help with a show. They attempt to do the script justice and in the process are forced to jump through some awkward hoops and just plain shennanigans in order to achieve the afore mentioned goal. In this process they become closer than they were at their point of casting/recruiting. Then the show opens. They make theatrical magic and the crowd loves it, and all of a sudden they're your family. This is the part I can't explain, because although you may not know any more about them than you did before opening night, you'd gladly spend the next month performing (and basicly living) with them (or most of them.) Then you have several days of chaotic bliss as the show runs its course. And then the curtain falls and you push the anxiety to the back of your head so that you can take care of cleaning up the mess of art you've all made on stage. But once you're all back in your respective places it doesn't feel right. There's nothing more to clean, place, say and you know that you will never get back that show ever again.
But there is some comfort because the majority of your cast and crew feel the same way. We theatre types call this "actor's remorse." And then of course the pictures go up on facebook and everyone gets excited to see each other again at the cast party. But nothing will ever be the same because you've been there and you will always have that cast/crew as a sort of extended family.
This is not someting I want to live without. Nor something I ever plan on living without. I'd like to thank the Dr. Horrible cast and crew for being so great and showing me (even though you didn't know it at the time) that my place is here with you crazy people. I may not know where I'm going but I know what I'll be doing. I love you all and I am impatient for the next time that we can work art together again.
I'll miss you so incredibly much this summer!
here's lookin at you kids,
~Elyz~
Monday, March 14, 2011
I Dare you to Move.
Note to self:
Life happens once and too quickly to waste any of it on being afraid. So don't waste your life moping or in fear. Today I know I won't take this for granted but I write this so that in a few weeks I can look back and maybe I can redeem a few more days of my life for God's work than I would have. I never want to spend another day away from Jesus, for the rest of my life, because those days are just a waste of precious time.
Praise God, He pardons me.
Sincerely,
Past Elyz
Life happens once and too quickly to waste any of it on being afraid. So don't waste your life moping or in fear. Today I know I won't take this for granted but I write this so that in a few weeks I can look back and maybe I can redeem a few more days of my life for God's work than I would have. I never want to spend another day away from Jesus, for the rest of my life, because those days are just a waste of precious time.
Praise God, He pardons me.
Sincerely,
Past Elyz
Friday, March 4, 2011
Cloud-watching
So it's a Friday which is already wonderful, but it's also the Friday before Spring Break. It's also gorgeous outside, hence the title of this blog. I was just listening to this song by Priscilla Ahn (Dream) and realized how incredibly happy I am today. I mean it's just one of those days that life is just good. So I'm gonna go could-watching after I finish Stage Combat today. So if you read this, I know it's chilly, go outside and be happy. :) Life is good.
~Elyz~
~Elyz~
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